sobriety in society

Well another day chalked up to being sober hooray. I'm pretty surprised I've held it together this long. I'm almost at 5 months! It hasn't been easy. I guess I've said that probably a million times. I have so much shit going on but I'm refusing to crack under pressure. I sobbed my eye balls out last night and it felt great. I really needed the release. Oh how I wish I had my drums set up right now. Music was always a huge release for me, even when I was using. It's the one thing where I can loose myself and forget about everything. It's such a spiritual thing for me. It's so hard to explain unless you've done it before. Well hopefully I'll get a job soon and be able to afford a practice studio again and get a band together again. Any ways my health insurance from the state has finally been approved! Which is great I've been dealing with a tooth ache for some time now. I still haven't found a sponsor in N.A. yet. (A sponsor is someone you call and work out your shit while your in sobriety they help you through the 12 steps, I'll get into those later.) I really need to get one bad. I think I need to check out some more meetings because I haven't found anyone that I think I would like to do it yet. I just want to get moving on this. I need to push a little harder then I have been I guess. It just gets so hard to when you have nothing much to do. Laziness just creeps in and gets a hold of you and sooner or later you've realized a few days have gone by and you haven't done a whole lot. Quiting smoking is a lot harder then I thought. Oh well soon I promise. Its such a waste of money. Not to mention the whole health factor. Still a little bummed over that chick but thinking clearer now. I just wonder if I'm ever gonna meet "the one" I know its the last thing on my plate right now, but its winter and its fun to cuddle and watch movies. Someday....First things first gotta work on me.....any ways talk to you soon