In-patient treatment and what brought me there

Alright it's time to catch you all up on how exactly I brought myself into treatment. A couple of years ago I messed around with opiates and I went through the bad withdrawals. Most of you will never know the complete horror of opiate withdrawal and thank god believe me. I wouldn't want to put my worst enemy through those. Symptoms of opiate withdrawal are agitation, anxiety, muscle aches, increased tearing, runny nose, insomnia, sweating, and if you get it bad it includes diarrhea, vomiting, and nausea. Its basically like having a bad flu but you can't sleep for 2 weeks. You feel so bad you wish you were dead. The only way to get rid of it is to take more. That's why these are so addictive and why it drives people to desperate measures. Anyways I went through a little out-patient program at the time with a private Dr. He prescribed me this newer wonder drug named suboxone. It takes care of the withdrawals and makes you feel better. What he didn't tell me is that it's just another form of opiate and it's just as addictive. I took it for a few months and just always had an uneasy feeling about him. I ran out of suboxone for a week and I started withdrawals all over again. It was terrible. It blindsided me because I thought I was over all that. So I lasted through it for 2 weeks and stopped seeing that Dr. I then resumed my life. But this past summer I met a guy who had a good connection. I could get the Oxycontin a lot cheaper then I had got them before. I forgot about all the terrible withdrawals, the cost of the drug, and the toll it took on my personal life. So before I knew it I was totally addicted all over again. But this time I couldn't stop taking them. I had a lot going wrong in life that piled up higher and I just wanted to escape even more. I ended up doing some really dumb stuff (of which I will not tell at this time do to the fact that I am still dealing with it in court). I ended up losing my job of course and the problems just kept piling higher and higher. All I wanted to do was escape. It just got to the point where I didn't care what drug it was I just wanted to get high and forget life as much as I could. I was so faded all the time. My mind was just in a fog. I forgot what feelings were. I forgot what life really was. I was so bankrupt physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was pretty much a dead man walking. I felt like I was on a road to no where with a break in the road with a huge valley down below and there was road on the other side but no bridge. I had no idea how or if I would ever get to the other side. I was at the end of my rope. I just couldn't go on living this way. Waking up all my thoughts were: How was I gonna get high?, Where can I score some stuff?, If I don't have enough money for drugs can I at least get drunk? I had lost control. Drugs and Alcohol had taken the wheel and were steering my life to where I had no idea. All these feelings I had buried deep down inside were all of a sudden just exploding out. I knew this had to stop. I had to change. I then looked on the Internet for treatment options. I decided to call the county and request a rule 25. A rule 25 is funding from the state for one to enter a drug and alcohol treatment program. I called and made their soonest available appointment. I called my brother Andrew, who is my younger brother, and he agreed to pick me up and take me. I needed support. I was scared to death about all this. Bringing him I knew I wouldn't back out of it. It was very humbling to tell my family "Hey I think I am a drug addict." But they all understood and have been more then supportive which helps a lot. At the appointment they asked me all kinds of questions relating to my usage of drugs and alcohol. My brother then went in to verify my usage (I really don't get that part of it who would lie and fake to go to treatment? It really isn't that fun.) They then told me it could take a week or so to get approved. Then my stomach sank. I had dosed out my drugs to get me to that appointment thinking that I would go in that day. I had to wait a week? Oh crap here comes the withdrawals all over again. I lasted 3 days until I couldn't take it anymore. I called and set up a deal. Problem was I had no money. I robbed the dealer for a couple pills. (Yes it wasn't that great of an idea. But what were they gonna do call the cop's and tell them I stole their drugs?) I got so high that night but I felt really guilty. This is what I was trying to stop. Withdrawals brought me to my knees and here I was again doing some stupid crap. I called the hospital the next day and they told me I could come to the e.r. so they could give me something to tie me over. My brother picked me up the next day and brought me in to the e.r. They took a Urine analysts, some other tests, and they agreed to let me in to in-patient treatment early. They said let's worry about the rule 25 later. Oh thank god......to be continued tomorrow