sober home fun time

Hello everyone. I think my last entry was real lack-luster. My head was in a million places at once which has happened a lot these last few months. It has been some of the weirdest months of my life really. So much change with a lot going on. It seems like a snow ball that keeps rolling down the hill. Things keep gaining momentum and more is added on the way. I guess that's the best analogy I can give you. I just never know when the snow ball is gonna smack into a tree or what. Living in the sober house just really put me in spot where I never thought I would be. Living with 20 some other addicts all in different walks of life just really put it in to perspective. I gained a lot of insight from the older residents. And hopefully shared some light to the younger ones. We had this outside area with a canopy and a picnic table. It was out back. We called it the smoking area cause that's where we were allowed to smoke and hang out. We weren't allowed out front because it was a really nice neighborhood with tons of really nice houses. It was one of the richer neighborhoods in St. Paul. I don't think the neighbors wanted to see us riff-raff hanging out front. I could understand. A lot of the guys would just cat call at the women jogging by and who wants that? I guess it was a little humiliating but truth is there were a lot of guys there that would have been a nuisance to the neighborhood. I snuck out front as much as I could. There were a lot of different types at the house. Some guys were court ordered to be there and most of them had no intention at staying sober. Some were there to try and salvage their rotting marriage. And some were there like me. Just wanting to get more out of life and willing to change themselves to better their world. I tended to hang out with the ones more like me. You get to know everyone and know who to hang out with. It could get real draining some times listening to everybody talk about this or that. I did develop some friendships that I know will last a while. Some of the staff were pretty cool. Mostly the guys that worked at night. They'd always offer an ear when you needed to talk, There was also a big volley ball court outside and we played a ton of volley ball. We had to get up at 7 am and bed time was midnight. For the first 3 days I couldn't leave the premises then I got a 9:30 curfew for 2 weeks then midnight after that. You had to gain their trust to get privileges. It wasn't bad living there. I just thought of it as summer camp for adults. Just dealing with all these guys you can only imagine what would go on. A lot of us were real fragile and emotionally drained from being so hard on our body and minds for so long. A lot of guys had been here before and told me not to end up like them. It was hard for me at 30 and just thinking of doing this at 50 oh god. I did spend my 30th birthday there. It sucked a little bit celebrating it with all these guys instead of people I know and cherish. But for some reason I knew this is where I wanted to be. Maybe I would have partied my ass off and od'ed otherwise. I spent my birthday night bowling and it was kind of fun. I was the first birthday for me in a while where I could remember the whole night. And yes it was nice not to wake up to a hangover. It was hard sleeping with 3 other snoring guys in the room though. A lot of nights I would sleep with my ipod in my ear. I'm sure the guys complained just as much about me. They were nice enough guys though and I couldn't of asked for better roommates. Most people in the house were pretty respectful. Every now and then something would end up missing (I only lost a shaver the whole time I was there, I mean a shaver though? Isn't that like stealing someones tooth brush or something?) Anyways I feel a little scrambled today and I'll leave you with that.