Beginings at the sober house

Hello sorry I've been offline for a few days and remembered I've left you hanging on the edge of your chairs. (ha ha) Anyways on with my story. Leaving the hospital, I felt excitement to be entering the world again yet also fear because I was entering the same cruel world again. My thoughts were racing can I do this? Can I be in the real world and stay sober? A sinking feeling of sadness began to slowly creep to me. I was realizing I could no longer hang out with the same people I have known for quite some time. I had to find new spots to hang out at. I had to figure out almost how to change my entire life. I hit the outside door and took a fresh breath of air in. I immediately had a craving for a cigarette. I wasn't allowed any at the hospital, however they did provide me with all the nicotine gum I could chew. They did offer the patch but I left one on one night and had the craziest dreams. Kind of fun but waking up in a panic because I was getting chased by predator was not. My brothers had dropped off my car for me. I sat down behind the wheel. It felt really odd to be in my car again. I had no idea why. It had only been 10 days since I last drove my car, but it all seemed so strange for me. I drove towards the house. I was really nervous. Was everyone gonna be cool? What the heck am I doing? I was about to have 20 roommates. As I arrived at the house, I noticed how large it was. It was a mansion. I entered the doorway and walked inside. It was quite nice. I had to go to the office and fill out some paperwork then was escorted to the kitchen. I arrived just at dinner time. It almost felt like high school all over again. I felt like I was entering the lunch line with my tray in hand. Then I had to figure out who I was gonna sit by and all that. Everyone was super cool. They were filling me in on all the rules. I had to do dishes once a week, make my bed everyday, clean one of 6 bathrooms everyday, attend an 8 a.m. meditation, house meeting on Monday night, an in-house meeting on either Tuesday or Thursday night, use my cell phone outside, and so many more. Nothing I couldn't handle I thought. They then gave me a key to my room and I went to check it out. I had 3 other roommates. They all seemed cool except for one younger kid. He kept asking me where I got my drugs and how fun they were etc...Of course I didn't tell him anything. I really didn't understand what he was doing at a sober house until he filled me in that it was court ordered. I really don't get that. Why force someone to do something they don't want to do? You really have to want recovery. I mean sure if you make some people go a select few will probably change their minds. Just having someone like that around kind of ruins it for the rest of us who really want it. Yet I began to think how young he was and remembered you couldn't of told me then what to do, so I cut him some slack. Sorry I'm kind of brain dead at the moment so I will continue this later....I've had a rough week and its hard to stay focused. I really have to remember to look at the positives because the negativity can drag you down